Saturday 22 June 2013

                                          THE LETTER
“Maa, baba has sent us another letter”, shouted Mrinal and ran through the verandah to the kitchen where Rama was preparing  Dal for supper.
“Oh, well Roti is ready, go and call Chotu also and sit here to eat”.
“He’s playing in the ground,  it’s too far, I’m not  going there right now”.
“Okay, then ask Neeta to bring him home, it’s half past six already”
“Maa!! What is this! I want fish for dinner, it’s been days that you haven’t cooked it ” demanded Chotu,  rejecting his plate full of dull roti and dal.
“I will Mishti, this Dusshera , let Baba come, I’ll surely, I promise” said Rama half heartedly  convincing her stubborn son of her shallow vows.
“Go Manu wash your hands and read aloud the letter” she said sadly pointing Mrinal to the basin beside kitchen.

“Dear Rama”, said Mrinal loudly and chuckled.
“Stop giggling and read further”.
“Things here are not so good. They haven’t given us pay even for this month, all the teachers are on a strike and are not giving any lectures. We have the right to be paid for our hard work after all. Well, I don’t have much money left now. I have taken some from a  friend to pay the room rent, won’t be able to send any of it this time. I hope you’ll understand, I’ll come back when the strike gets over. Take care of children, love, Avinash” exhaled Mrinal in one breath.
“What we will do now Maa?”.
“I don’t know Manu, I just don’t have the idea of how we’ll manage. I have to give 100 rupees to the grocer, Neeta was also reminding me of her monthly pay, I’ve already cut the milk to 2kgs. This is the minimum that we spend, we can’t survive on any less” choked Rama but on seeing Mrinal scared,  soon got hold of herself.
“See, Baba is also facing hardships, we have to help by standing by him during this bad phase beta”
“we will Maa”, said Mrinal and cuddled into her mother’s arms, in a way assuring her that everything will be alright soon.


To Avinash Thakur
Block no 21, Ashok Nagar,
Habra.
Wrote Mrinal on the big envelope she bought on the other day while returning from school.
“and ten”, counted mrinal the third time  her  prized 1 rupee notes and slipped all her scholarship for this month into the envelope with a roughly written note.
“Avinash Babu, you’ve got a letter from home”, shouted the postman from  the other side of the road where the strike was going on.
“Wait there, I’ll be coming in a moment”, he replied loudly and hastily started crossing the jammed road filled with bonded professors protesting angrily in front of the college gate.
“Why is it torn?” asked Avinash while examining the envelope
“I don’t know sahib, I got it in this manner only, when will this strike get over?” , said postman indifferently looking at the crowd.
“It’s probably the last day, well they ought to give us our rights, they’ve troubled us enough already, can’t linger it anymore”, answered Avinash, his voice affirmative.
“Good luck with that then sahib, now I should be get going”, he said and peddled down the other side of the road.
Avinash gazed at the envelope for a while and took out the note from inside, it said,
Dear Baba,
I know we don’t have enough money right now. I thought that I could be of some help, so I’ve sent you my  10 rupees that I got from school this month. I hope this will lessen your burden a little. Waiting for you to come back soon.
Yours Manu.
A tear slipped down his cheeks when he finished reading it, he browsed the envelope for the money, but it was empty.  he laughed softly at the innocence of his child and again joined the crowd. Where the union head announced;
“Congratulations everyone, we are going to get our pay due from past six months shortly, the college authority have accepted all our demands!!, the credits goes to all of you for cooperating so much and standing against such injustice”.
“Where are you running Avinash Babu?”
“I am going home”.


Monday 17 June 2013

the long distance

                                                 THE LONG DISTANCE
“Are you coming?” I asked Abhay.
“Shweta!  How can I say now, you know I’m trying and I’m trying really very hard, I have to manage a lot of things here, you just don’t understand”, he answered angrily.
“it’s been a year I haven’t seen your face , it’s just that i get weak sometimes and feel very alone, that’s when I need you the most but you're not here with me” I cried.
“Now please don’t cry baby, I can’t see you like this. I also feel the same Shweta , but it’s not the time to lose hope, you have to stand by me and make me stronger.
Okay , listen, I’ll talk to my boss today for leave, let’s see what happens, now smile, I promise I’ll come soon ”.
“Okay, bye, have to go now” I said weakly and hung up.
I stared blankly at the photo of Abhay and me flashing from my phone and wiped tears back from my face. I locked the empty apartment and crawled downstairs to the parking lot, started the car and moved slowly to work.
Abhay and I met seven years ago in college. The countless dates in canteen and library soon turned into love and in love, there passed our four years of engineering.
He was always there for me, whether it was to run a complicated tree program or to choose between two dresses, or even if I desperately wanted to eat pav patties on the busy streets of chawpaty, he never stepped back.
On our day of farewell, he abruptly held my hand and said,
“Shweta, I’ll miss these wonderful years that you've given me, I know it would be hard living apart, but its temporary, as soon as my training gets over I’ll request them to transfer me to Delhi or we’ll work for your transfer to Pune, it would be alright soon, but promise me, how worse it gets, we’ll never leave each other’s side”.
“I love you Abhay and will always with all my heart but you promise me that we’ll meet every month, no matter how hard it is to do so” I said.
“I promise” he replied.
We both kept crying the whole night sitting at the back lawn under the stars wishing for that moment to never end.
Life changes, so as priorities. We got so busy in our work that we could only meet once in a year and it even got extended when Abhay went to Germany for his internship.
Many a times things got out of our hands, we fought, we cried, got frustrated, just for the craving to touch each other.
“Hi!! Good morning, late for work today, is everything fine?”,asked Poorvi, a friend.
“Yeah, just feeling a little low, nothing else”.
“What happened? Is Abhay good?”.
“Yes, he’s  having trouble making it in time for our anniversary this week on 22nd”.
“Oh! My poor girl, don’t worry, he’ll surely come”.
“ let’s see”, I sighed.
“Hello, Shweta?” asked Abhay over phone.
“ya, I’m in office Abhay, can we talk later?” I asked.
“it’s something urgent. Um , there’s an important meeting coming up this 22nd, it will decide my promotion, Shweta, listen to me carefully, as soon as the meeting gets over, I’ll take the first flight on 24th to Delhi, we’ll celebrate our day on 24th,sweetheart trust me, I’ll just be there.
Shweta?
Are you listening? ”.
I cut the phone and broke down, on seeing me cry, Poorvi reached my desk.
“Hey sweetie, what’s the matter?”
“He’s not coming Poorvi”, I said and busted  into her arms.
“Try and understand Shweta, he has his own problems, he at least tried, now stop crying, we’ll think of some plan”., she said caressing my hair.
“why don’t you surprise him by going to Pune, it would be fun!”, said Poorvi excitedly.
“what!! I can’t, I mean, yeah, but I won’t get leave!”.
“at least go and try, make any excuse, see if it works”.
“But I don’t have enough savings to manage the whole trip”.
“Oh Shweta,  you don’t worry about that, take it from me for the time being”.
“Okay”, I said and smiled.

“ Have you packed everything?” Poorvi asked over phone.
“Yes, almost done”, I answered hurriedly.
“Make it fast, its 8 already , you have a plane to catch”.
“Thank you Poorvi, it would not have been possible without you”, I said abruptly.
“Pleasure is always mine”, she replied.
I checked the mirror twice before leaving for airport. The excitement was too much to handle. I convincingly tried to sound somber on the phone with Abhay and I lied to him about me having cold and that I would sleep early. As he was too busy in his project, he bought it.
Those two hours on the plane were like a million years,every second thought twice before moving ahead and the idea of seeing Abhay after so long made it even harder to pass.
I hurriedly moved out of the airport.
“Taxi!!”, I shouted.
“Madhuban builders, Clover Center”.
“D-57, fourth floor”, I checked the address seventh time on the phone.
“Ding dong”, I pressed the doorbell.
Abhay opened the door and shrieked,
“SHWETA!!! WHAT?? HOW??”
“Happy anniversary sweetheart”, I smiled and hugged him.
“Why didn't you tell me, I would have come to get you”.
“Shh, I have something important to say”, I said and knelt down on the floor.
“I kept my promise Abhay to love you for life, I know this long distance between us bothers us a lot, but when I think about our beautiful life ahead, it just vanishes, all the pain, weakness, loneliness, separation,it just goes away; all I see is you…
You asked me to stand by you in all our ups and downs, so here I am, to trouble you for all your life,
I love you,
Will you marry me?”.
“I love you too Shweta and have fallen for you even more just now,
Now wait a minute, I’ll be right back”.
He paced back inside a room and came back with something in his hands, he knelt down on the floor with me, took my hands in his and said,
“A thousand times yes Shweta”, and slid a ring into my finger.

We both kept crying the whole night sitting in the balcony under the stars wishing for that moment to never end.

Tuesday 4 June 2013

love.. was it??



I tried… I tried to save him but couldn't , he was so close to me, dying, he even cried for help but I was so numb that I wasn't able to hear his wailing
. It was horrifying, he was in so much pain clutching his blood stained white shirt tightly with his constantly trembling hands. His eyes were full of his last wish to live, but god didn’t mercy this time.

Arjun and I were in a relationship from past five years. We moved in together on our third anniversary on 2nd Aug, 2008 into the south ext. apartment he bought for the new beginning of our lives together.  It was all like a dream come true, to live with the man I loved the most.
We shifted all my baggage from my hostel in within one week of time. He took days off from his office, I from my school, we spent all of the days shifting couches, choosing curtains, arranging wardrobes , so on and so forth, the time just flew when I was with him. The apartment got alive , with him standing beside me holding my hand,  it felt like home, OUR HOME.
Soon a few months passed by of our togetherness. The journey was beautiful, or maybe not…

“Arjun, I've invited a friend from school over dinner, could you please take a half day from work? I need some groceries” I asked him.
“sure, where does she live? Is she coming alone?” asked Arjun.
“Rishab lives in Vasant Vihar, he’ll be coming with his newly married wife Akansha, so I decided to welcome her. Isn't that great?” I exclaimed.
“what? You didn’t even bother to ask me about it! Do I even have any takes in your decisions Sukriti?” he blabbered angrily.
“that’s not the reason sweetheart, I just forgot to tell you about it earlier, kids in school are having their unit test, so I got busy in checking papers, it slipped from my mind, I am really sorry Arjun, this wont happen again” I said and hugged him tightly ruffling his hairs. A short smile went over his angry face and he hugged me back.
“you look beautiful as always Sukriti!” complimented Rishab as we opened the door to welcome our guest couple. Arjun directed them towards the dining table. The dinner went well, we all talked about  love, work, marriage, men , women and many other things that you babble about when you meet a person with whom you can relate your life with.
“when are you two getting married Sukriti?” Akansha asked curiously.
I looked into Arjun’s eyes and took hold of his hands under the table and said “soon”.
“bye, see you tomorrow, thank you for this delicious dinner Sukriti, you are a very lucky man Arjun, you've got such an amazing cook as your girlfriend” said Rishab and winked at Arjun.
“sure I am” replied Arjun with a smile.


“isn't Rishab a nice man?” I asked Arjun while making up the bed.
“he’s so much interested in you, it didn’t seem like he has a wife” said Arjun indifferently.
“what are you saying Arjun!! I didn’t get you” I exclaimed and sat on the other side of the bed.
“yeah, he was flirting with you and you responded equally” he said and came near me. He sat beside me and took hold of my face.
“you are a beauty for sure Sukriti”.
“Arjun I wasn't ”
“shh” interrupted Arjun and pulled my hair downwards.
“ouch!!!, it pains, Arjun leave me” I begged him.
“ SHUT UP YOU BITCH!!!”  and smacked me hard on my face, it was so forceful  that his fingers got traced on my face, I was too shocked to respond.
“SLUT!! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU SLEEP AROUND WITH ANYONE YOU GET HOLD OF, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!” screamed Arjun while getting up from the bed.
“you wont go anywhere tomorrow, desperate whores like you shouldn't be set free” he said and banged the door from behind.
I was torn apart, too shattered to even think. All the beautiful memories got burnt by Arjun’s bitter behavior. He didn’t come home all night. I kept staring at the door and finally cried myself to sleep.

Next morning I felt his hands over my battered face,
“I am sorry baby” Arjun whispered into my ear.
I opened my eyes to see him sitting beside me on the bed. I awkwardly stood up and stepped backwards to the other end of the bed.
“don’t be scared Sukriti, I wont hurt you anymore, I am the worst guy on the earth, I  hurt my sweetheart! But you know how possessive I am about you, cant stand you smiling around with someone else, what will I do if you’ll leave me?
I am really sorry, please forgive me honey
Look I've even punished myself for misbehaving with you” and he pointed towards his left wrist where were various random aggressive cut marks done by a blade.
“please forgive me Sukriti!! I cant live without you, I wont ever be a monster again” he cried and came near me.  He took out something from his pocket, and  held my hands,
“marry me” requested Arjun abruptly.
“I don’t want to lose you Sukriti” and slid a ring into my finger.
“I love you sweetheart” he said and kissed me, I let him do it.

After his proposal, I thought the bad days have ended but there were worst to come.
From that day getting beatings from him became an usual thing for me, sometimes for getting late from work, or for talking to a friend on phone or even for not answering his questions at once!
He didn’t need any reasons to thrash me, he just did it. He got pleasure in seeing me cry. I tried to escape from him a lot of times, but he didn’t let me go, he asked for forgiveness, cried, hurt himself and even threatened to kill me. I was scared, I didn’t know what to do. I was trapped in his vicious circle of forced love. He wasn't able to get rid of his sadistic violence and I from him.


I was reading a book sitting on the couch when suddenly there was a loud banging on the door, I rushed opened to find Arjun standing there, completely drunk. He was stinking, I took a step back.
“you look beautiful” said Arjun.
“are you drunk?”
“I love you Sukriti” said Arjun and took a step forward.
“I asked are you drunk?”
“yes I am, just some casual drinks at a friends place, come near me baby, lets make love” said Arjun and grabbed my waist from behind.
“let go off me Arjun!!, you’re smelling pathetic”
“it hardly matters honey” he said   and forcefully laid me on his shoulders while moving towards the bedroom.
“please Arjun, let me go, I beg you” I cried
“ you know I love you so much, then why are you being so childish!!” he said angrily and pushed me onto the bed.
I crawled backwards crying, he took hold of my legs and pulled me towards him.
“don’t  over react  Sukriti!!, and stop your nonsense right now” bursted Arjun and opened the buttons of his trousers.
“please Arjun stop, I don’t want to, I am already pregnant for god’s sake!” I begged.
“oh!!, we’ll get that aborted tomorrow, now behave”
He got hold of my pyjama and started undressing me.
“one more word from your mouth will not be good, mind you, be a good girl and let me do my job”
“please” I wailed
He suddenly throttled me and banged my head on the  back wall just behind the bed, the pain was excruciating, I touched my skull, it was bleeding.
“I WARNED IT WONT BE GOOD!!”  he screamed and laughed hysterically at the same time.
He came over and forced himself upon me. I was in no state to resist, not even for my chastity.

He slept half naked on me, I slowly moved my hands to the drawer beside the bed and took out his licensed revolver from inside and jerked him to the other side.
“what the hell” he exclaimed suddenly waking up.
“Sukriti!!”he shrieked on seeing that gun in my hand.
I pulled the trigger and shot him straight on his chest. He tried to reach out for me but I again shot him, this time in his abdomen. He was petrified, I could see hatred for me in his eyes. I moved away from him and watched him die.
I tried to save him but couldn't…
R.I.P ARJUN.