love.. was it??

I tried… I tried to save him but couldn't , he was so close to me, dying, he even cried for help but I was so numb that I wasn't able to hear his wailing

. It was horrifying, he was in so much pain clutching his blood stained white shirt tightly with his constantly trembling hands. His eyes were full of his last wish to live, but god didn’t mercy this time.

Arjun and I were in a relationship from past five years. We moved in together on our third anniversary on 2^nd Aug, 2008 into the south ext. apartment he bought for the new beginning of our lives together.  It was all like a dream come true, to live with the man I loved the most.

We shifted all my baggage from my hostel in within one week of time. He took days off from his office, I from my school, we spent all of the days shifting couches, choosing curtains, arranging wardrobes , so on and so forth, the time just flew when I was with him. The apartment got alive , with him standing beside me holding my hand,  it felt like home, OUR HOME.

Soon a few months passed by of our togetherness. The journey was beautiful, or maybe not…

“Arjun, I've invited a friend from school over dinner, could you please take a half day from work? I need some groceries” I asked him.

“sure, where does she live? Is she coming alone?” asked Arjun.

“Rishab lives in Vasant Vihar, he’ll be coming with his newly married wife Akansha, so I decided to welcome her. Isn't that great?” I exclaimed.

“what? You didn’t even bother to ask me about it! Do I even have any takes in your decisions Sukriti?” he blabbered angrily.

“that’s not the reason sweetheart, I just forgot to tell you about it earlier, kids in school are having their unit test, so I got busy in checking papers, it slipped from my mind, I am really sorry Arjun, this wont happen again” I said and hugged him tightly ruffling his hairs. A short smile went over his angry face and he hugged me back.

“you look beautiful as always Sukriti!” complimented Rishab as we opened the door to welcome our guest couple. Arjun directed them towards the dining table. The dinner went well, we all talked about  love, work, marriage, men , women and many other things that you babble about when you meet a person with whom you can relate your life with.

“when are you two getting married Sukriti?” Akansha asked curiously.

I looked into Arjun’s eyes and took hold of his hands under the table and said “soon”.

“bye, see you tomorrow, thank you for this delicious dinner Sukriti, you are a very lucky man Arjun, you've got such an amazing cook as your girlfriend” said Rishab and winked at Arjun.

“sure I am” replied Arjun with a smile.

“isn't Rishab a nice man?” I asked Arjun while making up the bed.

“he’s so much interested in you, it didn’t seem like he has a wife” said Arjun indifferently.

“what are you saying Arjun!! I didn’t get you” I exclaimed and sat on the other side of the bed.

“yeah, he was flirting with you and you responded equally” he said and came near me. He sat beside me and took hold of my face.

“you are a beauty for sure Sukriti”.

“Arjun I wasn't ”

“shh” interrupted Arjun and pulled my hair downwards.

“ouch!!!, it pains, Arjun leave me” I begged him.

“ SHUT UP YOU BITCH!!!”  and smacked me hard on my face, it was so forceful  that his fingers got traced on my face, I was too shocked to respond.

“SLUT!! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU SLEEP AROUND WITH ANYONE YOU GET HOLD OF, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!” screamed Arjun while getting up from the bed.

“you wont go anywhere tomorrow, desperate whores like you shouldn't be set free” he said and banged the door from behind.

I was torn apart, too shattered to even think. All the beautiful memories got burnt by Arjun’s bitter behavior. He didn’t come home all night. I kept staring at the door and finally cried myself to sleep.

Next morning I felt his hands over my battered face,

“I am sorry baby” Arjun whispered into my ear.

I opened my eyes to see him sitting beside me on the bed. I awkwardly stood up and stepped backwards to the other end of the bed.

“don’t be scared Sukriti, I wont hurt you anymore, I am the worst guy on the earth, I  hurt my sweetheart! But you know how possessive I am about you, cant stand you smiling around with someone else, what will I do if you’ll leave me?

I am really sorry, please forgive me honey

Look I've even punished myself for misbehaving with you” and he pointed towards his left wrist where were various random aggressive cut marks done by a blade.

“please forgive me Sukriti!! I cant live without you, I wont ever be a monster again” he cried and came near me.  He took out something from his pocket, and  held my hands,

“marry me” requested Arjun abruptly.

“I don’t want to lose you Sukriti” and slid a ring into my finger.

“I love you sweetheart” he said and kissed me, I let him do it.

After his proposal, I thought the bad days have ended but there were worst to come.

From that day getting beatings from him became an usual thing for me, sometimes for getting late from work, or for talking to a friend on phone or even for not answering his questions at once!

He didn’t need any reasons to thrash me, he just did it. He got pleasure in seeing me cry. I tried to escape from him a lot of times, but he didn’t let me go, he asked for forgiveness, cried, hurt himself and even threatened to kill me. I was scared, I didn’t know what to do. I was trapped in his vicious circle of forced love. He wasn't able to get rid of his sadistic violence and I from him.

I was reading a book sitting on the couch when suddenly there was a loud banging on the door, I rushed opened to find Arjun standing there, completely drunk. He was stinking, I took a step back.

“you look beautiful” said Arjun.

“are you drunk?”

“I love you Sukriti” said Arjun and took a step forward.

“I asked are you drunk?”

“yes I am, just some casual drinks at a friends place, come near me baby, lets make love” said Arjun and grabbed my waist from behind.

“let go off me Arjun!!, you’re smelling pathetic”

“it hardly matters honey” he said   and forcefully laid me on his shoulders while moving towards the bedroom.

“please Arjun, let me go, I beg you” I cried

“ you know I love you so much, then why are you being so childish!!” he said angrily and pushed me onto the bed.

I crawled backwards crying, he took hold of my legs and pulled me towards him.

“don’t  over react  Sukriti!!, and stop your nonsense right now” bursted Arjun and opened the buttons of his trousers.

“please Arjun stop, I don’t want to, I am already pregnant for god’s sake!” I begged.

“oh!!, we’ll get that aborted tomorrow, now behave”

He got hold of my pyjama and started undressing me.

“one more word from your mouth will not be good, mind you, be a good girl and let me do my job”

“please” I wailed

He suddenly throttled me and banged my head on the  back wall just behind the bed, the pain was excruciating, I touched my skull, it was bleeding.

“I WARNED IT WONT BE GOOD!!”  he screamed and laughed hysterically at the same time.

He came over and forced himself upon me. I was in no state to resist, not even for my chastity.

He slept half naked on me, I slowly moved my hands to the drawer beside the bed and took out his licensed revolver from inside and jerked him to the other side.

“what the hell” he exclaimed suddenly waking up.

“Sukriti!!”he shrieked on seeing that gun in my hand.

I pulled the trigger and shot him straight on his chest. He tried to reach out for me but I again shot him, this time in his abdomen. He was petrified, I could see hatred for me in his eyes. I moved away from him and watched him die.

I tried to save him but couldn't…

R.I.P ARJUN.